


A soldier and his fella

by Gbookworm1737



Series: The tale of our lives [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - 1940s, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Tony Stark, Lace Panties, Lingerie, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Years, Nightmares, Omega Peggy Carter, Omega Tony Stark, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Bucky Barnes, Recovery, Slang, Soldier coming home, Swing Dancing, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Bucky Barnes, tony wearing lace panties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 15:03:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16997244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gbookworm1737/pseuds/Gbookworm1737
Summary: In the fall of 1945, Bucky returns home to after nearly two years of separation from his darling fella Tony. Pleased to have his mate back in his arms and a roof over his head, Bucky is weary to discover that the remnants of war still lingers in his mind. What follows is a tumultuous few months in the harsh winters in Brooklyn and restless nights consisting of nightmares and conflict that pushes Tony and Bucky's newfound relationship.4th instalment in "a tale of our lives" Can be read as a stand-alone or part of the series





	A soldier and his fella

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no see lovelies!
> 
> This is the fourth installment of my series, my first time attempting smut and the longest fic so far. 
> 
> I also haven't edited this and I really should study for exams. I'll edit this in the morning so don't go crazy over the grammar mistakes. As always comments feed my soul and I hope you enjoy!

_Late September 1945_

Tony fussed nervously as he picked at any noticeable pieces of fluff attached to his wool sweater. He flattened out his high waisted slacks and readjusted the silver belt that helped tie his ensemble together, along with his favourite black penny loafers. Tony placed his hands behind his back and swayed up and down onto the balls of his feet.

 

He had heard news of the war ending over the radio in his father’s study while he was reading. The announcement occurred three weeks ago, and Tony had perked up straight in his chair when he heard the news. He received a stern glare from his father, but the omega was too preoccupied with thoughts of his soldier to care. His hands shook as his fingers fiddled with his page. It took all his willpower not to run out of his house and take a taxi to Brooklyn.

 

“Here, take these.” A basket was shoved at his chest. Tony winced, scowling at his perpetrator. Peggy gave him a bright smile and sharp eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t give me that look. Waiting at the door like a lost puppy surely won’t make him come home sooner.”

 

Tony begrudgingly took the wooden basket filled with wet clothes and made his way outside. Cool autumn breeze kissed his neck, causing the omega to shiver. He dropped the basket on the grass and pulled a damp pair of trousers out. He slapped the article against his side, bidding the pants of wrinkles before clipping wooden clothespins on both sides.

 

The act was calming. It gave Tony something to do so he wouldn’t constantly be worrying about Bucky. It was a distraction and it was working.

 

Steve was at work. He’s an art teacher at the public school down the road. Although he loved children, his true passion was artwork, but he needed a steady job to keep him and Peggy on their feet. He often talked about how children drew pictures of their parents in the war. Steve always let them, because people had a right to express their emotions.

 

It was last year when Steve told the story of how his fifth-grade student, Ana Pierce, had told the Steve that her daddy wasn’t coming home. At night, she could hear her mother crying in her bedroom. Ana asked Steve how she didn’t want to draw anymore. It was the first time Steve had ever been speechless.

 

Tony didn’t like thinking about those things. He couldn’t bear to think about the countless alphas who’ve lost their lives and their families and had to deal with the aftermath. It was hard enough dealing with his father’s badgering requests of a new suitor. Howard had been furious when Tony refused to marry Justin. He nearly ran the alpha off the edge, to the point where Justin gave up and left. Tony had repeated the process with two other alphas since then.

 

Needleless to say, Howard wasn’t happy.

 

Tony heard a _thump._ Thinking it was Peggy bringing out another basket, Tony continued with his task. “Peggy the clothesline is full you’re gonna have to hang them up on the chairs.”

 

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” A familiar voice drawled. Tony paused, his pulse skyrocketing as quickly clipped the final shirt and turned around. “Never thought I’d see the day a posh fella could do laundry.”

 

Tony stood still as he observed the sight in front of him. On the ground laid the soldier’s brown bag. A spark of nostalgia travelled through his veins at the display of James wearing the same olive-green army suit he wore the first night he met Tony. The same light brown hat had been removed by the alpha, who held it across his chest, a sign of respect.

 

They’d send letters to each other throughout the war. It was a way to keep in touch even as time moved forward. The two exchanged letters every couple of months, both writing as much as they could, not knowing when they’d get the chance to send another letter. Bucky talked about the war. He wrote how he felt it would never end and that some days got hard. He wrote how much he cared for Tony, and how all the pain was worth it if he got to come home to his omega.

 

Tony wrote about his life. He wrote about Howard and how his potential suitors could never hold a candle to the way he felt about Bucky that night at the expo. He wrote about how much he enjoyed their date at the carnival with Steve and Peggy. He also sent pictures of himself and promised Bucky he’d be coming home to a good life.

 

The letters felt nothing like the real thing. Having Bucky here in the flesh, sent a relief flooding through his body. Bucky looked older, and Tony momentarily felt he was looking at a stranger. The alpha had noticeable stubble which gave him a gruff appearance. But his eyes were still his eyes and right now they were looking at Tony with comfort and tenderness. 

 

“James” he breathed. He felt his eyes prickle and hurriedly blinked them away.

 

Bucky’s head was cocked to the side, his hands in his pockets. “What, no welcome home kiss?” He teased, taking a step closer to his omega. Tony heard the crunching of the leaves as he trailed through the grass. “Ain’t that what you promised me in the letters doll?”

 

Tony wiped his clammy hands on his pants, he could feel his fingers tremble. It was likely Bucky could smell the distress off the omega. Tony tried his best to maintain his cool.

 

“Maybe I wanted you to come kiss me.” He said, ignoring the way his voice shook. He watched as the soldier stepped closer until he was inches away from Tony.

 

“I think I can swing that.” Bucky murmured, trailing his fingers across Tony’s cheek to calm him. The alpha’s fingers were rough, but Tony shivered nonetheless, inching forward until his nose rubbed against Bucky’s.

 

Bucky leaned in and kissed him, warm and gentle. Tony felt his heartbeat hammer in his chest and cursed the fact that Bucky still had the ability to make him nervous.

 

Tony’s fingers curled around the soldier’s jacket. Bucky pulled the omega’s body flush with his, eliciting a whimper from the smaller man. It was the perfect opportunity for Bucky to deepen the kiss. Tony felt a slight sting when Bucky nipped his bottom lip, and the curl of arousal soon followed as the soldier pulled away, pupils blown and breathing heavy.

 

Bucky brought him closer and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. Tony hummed, looking up to see the alpha’s tender eyes. He snuck his arms over the alpha’s waist and pressed his head against his chest, relishing in the familiar pine aroma.

 

“Hey there soldier. Miss me?” He was aiming for flirtatious but judging from the rumble of Bucky’s chest, he knew it wasn’t working.

 

Bucky chuckled. And God, had Tony missed that sounds. He nearly purred at Bucky’s arms went around Tony’s shoulders, enveloping him in a warm embrace outside the cold, autumn air. His chin rested on Tony’s curls. “More than you can imagine doll. God how did ya manage to get even prettier than the last time?”

                                                                 

“James” The omega groaned, feeling the heat on his cheeks. He was immensely grateful the alpha couldn’t see his face. “S’ not true.” 

 

A hand sneaked down Tony’s back, rubbing soothing circles along his skin. “Still callin’ me James huh? And talking like me too? Geez posh, you’ve really changed.” Tony pushed at him playfully, biting back a laugh when the soldier wouldn’t budge.

 

“James!” He squealed, laughing as his alpha began peppering kisses all over his face. “Oh, let off! I have not.” He said, breaking free from the soldier’s hold.

 

Bucky stood a few feet away from him, eyes sparkling in amusement and hair disheveled. He looked like a mischievous teenager with his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on the heels of his dress shoes. “Hmm, think ya have darlin’. It’s real sexy too.”

 

“You two should really get a room; we have neighbours ya know?” Steve had just placed his briefcase next to Bucky’s bag as he walked down the steps and into the backyard.

 

“Punk.” Bucky greeted with a smile.

 

 “I missed you too, Jerk.” Steve replied, clapping the soldier on the back. He pulled away and observed the alpha wearily. “Jesus, Buck what did they feed you over there, ya look like you’ve lost weight.”

 

“Been back ten minutes and you’re already being a mother hen Stevie?”

 

The smaller alpha rolled his eyes, giving the soldier a playful shove on his shoulder. “What’re best friends for Buck? And besides, I think you gotta worry more about Tony fussing over you than myself.”

 

“It’s true,” Tony agreed as he picked up the laundry basket and placed it on his hip. He stopped next to his alpha and straightened out his collar before glancing up innocently. “Nearly chewed Steve’s head off with my worrying. But I guess you’re stuck with me.”

 

Bucky’s grin was soft, and Tony felt his heartbeat falter from the attention. “Wouldn’t have it any other way doll.”

 

Tony smiled back and gave Steve a playful wink. “I’ll let you two catch up. Dinner will be ready in ten.” Tony announced, eyes flickering back to his alpha’s before rising on his tippy toes and delivering a delicate kiss to his cheek.  

 

The soldier watched Tony open the back door and leave, and then continued to stare at the door long after he’d gone. He waited a couple of minutes outside in the cold. “I still can’t believe he’s here.” He whispered, voice low, with an edge of doubt.

 

From his peripheral, he could see Stevie coming closer and resting a hand on his shoulder. “Course he’s here Buck, all Tony ever does is talk about you.”

 

Bucky kept his gaze locked on the door. “It’s been two years, Stevie. I don’t know, it’s just…” he trailed off. He glanced back at Steve, who’s eyes looked painstakingly sad. Bucky gave a defeated shrug of his shoulders. “He could’ve moved on. He didn’t have to wait for me.”

 

He felt Steve squeeze his shoulder. “No, he didn’t.” he agreed, “But he did Buck. What you guys have, well, it’s just the kinda stuff worth waiting for.”

 

Bucky gave a small smile. “Thanks Stevie.”

 

~*~

 

The pot roast that Tony made was scrumptious and the dinner table was alive with chatter. Tony had worked hard with supper and openly preened when Peggy gave him full credit.

 

When dinner was over, Bucky and Steve sat on the couch nursing a beer while Peggy and Tony cleaned up. The Yankees were playing the Red Sox on the television. Steve had to smack the side a couple of times before the screen flickered to the game.

 

“Can’t believe you still have that thing.” Bucky grumbled, taking a swig of his beer. The condensation from the label cooled the palm of his hands. Water trickled down his fingertips and fell to the carpet.

 

Steve snorted. “You kiddin’ Buck? Do you know how much T.V.’s cost these days?”

 

“No punk I’ve been a little busy fighting a war to check T.V. prices.” Bucky retorted. Steve shoved him lightly as he sat down beside his best friend, chocking on a laugh.

 

“God, you’re still a jerk. I guess time doesn’t change that.” Bucky grinned, bringing the glass up to his lips, stopping short when he saw Tony leaning against the doorway. He had his arms crossed over his chest, almost shyly, as he watched the two alphas joke at ease.

 

When Tony caught Bucky looking, the alpha softened at the red blush that painted his omega’s cheeks. Bucky felt his chest tighten painfully at the sight of someone so pure and beautiful, waiting for him.

 

He felt his heartbeat pulse in his throat. They had only spent two weeks together since Bucky’s deployment and that was well over two years ago. The letters that were scattered throughout Bucky’s time enlisted could not excuse the limited amount of physical contact the two had shared.

 

Bucky placed his drink on the coaster and moved his two front fingers back and forth in a “come hither” motion. Tony gave him a fond look, uncrossing his arms as he made his way over. He let out a surprised squeal as Bucky snaked an arm around his lithe body and pulled him forward, crashing into his body.

 

“James!” Tony laughed, arms resting on the alpha’s shoulders as he clumsily fell into his lap. Once he settled, he turned to the taller man who sat inches from his face. Tony was inches away from swirls of grey, his alpha’s pointed nose and the stubble that Tony desperately wanted to nestle against.

 

Tony felt shy as he met Bucky’s eyes. He finally had him home and he was so excitement he didn’t know how act in away that wouldn’t send Bucky running for the hills.

 

“Hey.” He murmured, settling with his hand resting on Bucky’s chest.

 

Bucky smiled, and Tony marvelled at the way the man’s eyes crinkled in amusement. “Hey doll” Bucky greeted, trailing his hand towards Tony’s thigh, grip firm and steady. Tony felt goosebumps wherever Bucky’s hands trailed and promptly shivered, nose coming forward to nuzzle the spot where neck met shoulder.

 

He felt Bucky’s hand tighten, and then relax. The hand supporting his back rubbed soothing circles that was so soothing it had the capability to cause Tony’s eyes to flutter closed. He tried his best to watch the game, he had become familiarized with modern sports thanks to Steve, but the task was quite difficult. The stress of waiting for Bucky to come home, along with making dinner came crashing down and Tony was exhausted.

 

Bucky kept his voice low as he chatted with Steve about the players. Tony listened to the sound of his alpha’s voice, the gruffness of his voice vibrating against his chest. Tony could hear Bucky’s heartbeat and how it would beat faster whenever Tony dropped his hand to Bucky’s ribs. But, for the most part stayed calm and steady.

 

The next time he opened his eyes, he was his room. It was dark outside, but he could see the streetlamp outside his window. Drowsily, he was about to get up when he heard a shuffling of the blankets.

 

“James?”

 

“It’s okay doll, I’m here.”

 

The bed dipped, and Tony was soon enveloped in the alpha’s presence as he pressed his front to the omega’s back, snuggling close. Tony hummed in relief as he felt an arm reach around his body, pulling the covers up to keep him warm. Bucky’s hand rested on his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Go back to sleep Tony. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

“Promise?” Tony mumbled.

 

A kiss was pressed to his head. “Promise darlin’.”

 

~*~

_The sounds of gunshot sounded shrill in his ears. Bucky’s fingers were grimy as he reloaded his gun and sat back down in the trenches. The wet mud was seeping through his clothes. His toes were freezing, and his hands felt numb._

_Suddenly, a hand gripped his arm. Bucky spun around, gun raised as he aimed it right between the eyes of his next target._

_“Hey, watch where you point that thing!”  Someone exclaimed. Bucky’s brain felt hazy and uncertain, but that voice was familiar. He dropped the gun and gave the man an incredulous look._

_“Tony? What the hell are you doing here?” He growled, grabbing the boy and crashing him towards his chest. He dropped his gun in a frenzy, his body strung out in fear as he peeled his helmet off his head before securing it onto the omega’s._

_“I’m sitting here with you, obviously.” He deadpanned, glancing around at his surroundings. “Golly this place sure is dirty.”_

_Confused, Bucky simply gawked at the boy sitting in front of him. He watched Tony glance up at the wires, his expression pensive. It wasn’t until someone shouted “grenade” that Bucky blinked back to awareness, grabbing the omega’s body and throwing him in the opposite direction, body resting on top to shield him._

_The sound resonated in Bucky’s ears. He grimaced, his teeth clenched so hard he feared they’d break. When he sat up, he felt a prickly sensation in his legs. He looked to the side and cursed at the shrapnel embedded deep in his skin._

_He turned to the body on the ground and tilted his chin up, examining Tony’s face, his arms, his legs and his torso. “Are you hurt?” He breathed, touching Tony’s face. Dirt smeared his cheeks and Bucky tried to clean him, except he couldn’t because his whole body was dirty, and they were sitting in a pile of mud and now Tony was dirty._

_“I’m fine honey.”_

_“No, you’re not,” Bucky murmured, hands cradling Tony’s cheeks. “You’re all dirty because of me.”_

_Tony looked down. “You’re bleeding.” He stated, voice calm._

_“Don’t worry about me Tony. Just gotta keep you safe. Gotta keep my best fella safe.”_

_Tony frowned. “They can’t do that to you. They hurt you. I’m going to go talk to them.” Horrified Bucky watched Tony sit up and wipe the mud off his body._

_“No!” Bucky cried, trying to stand. His knees buckled at the excruciating pain that trailed up from his spine and pulsated across every nerve ending in his body. He fell back on the dirt, tiny rocks scraping his knees as he gripped Tony’s pant leg in shear desperation. “Don’t stand up Tony, I mean it!”_

_Tony gave him a small smile and gently unclasped his hands from his body. “You worry too much James.”_

_“Tony get down! Please don’t go up there!”_

_But it was too late._

_Bucky shut his eyes as he heard shots ringing from above. He was face down in the earth, heart pounding as he heard a sickening thud of a body drop in the mud. He stared at the helmet on the head of the person he loved and laughed at the fact that the only piece of armour Bucky had given him had not one bullet hole._

_What a waste of armour._

_What a waste._

Bucky jerked awake, breathing heavy. He brought his had up to his chest, checking for injuries before he turned to Tony only to find him asleep, snoring softly. Bucky let out a sigh of relief, hands coming up to cover his face as he tried to calm his breathing.

 

He counted to a hundred and, when he was moderately calm, then sat up and peeled the blankets that had managed to get tangled at his feet off his body. His back was covered in sweat that seeped onto the mattress. Bucky placed his feet on the carpet and leaned forward until his forearms rested against his knees.

 

His knee bounced up and down in nervousness. He stood up slowly, trying not to make the mattress squeak too much, and began pacing back and forth. He peeled his shirt off and threw it haphazardly onto the armoire next to the closet.

 

He made his way to the window, peeling the drapes back enough to notice that it was still dark out. He peeled back and began pacing back and forth.

 

“Cool it Sergeant. Ain’t nothing but a dream. Ya ain’t no yellowbelly.” He muttered, stopping short. His hands were itching for a cigarette, something to take to load off. A nasty habit he picked up from the fellas in his platoon as he bummed a cigarette from Andie or Gabe.

 

He settled on rubbing his pointer finger and his thumb together, generating a soft noise in the dead of the night albeit Tony’s snoring. He went back to bed, careful not to disturb Tony.

 

He sheets felt cold against his back, the sweat still wet. But it was fine, because Tony was here. Tony was next to him, snoring but alive.

 

Bucky didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. He didn’t want to go back to that place. He wanted to stay right here, with Tony.

 

Because Tony was here, and he is safe.

 

And that’s all that mattered.

 

~*~

 

When Tony woke up, the process was slow. He was sprawled out on his belly, left hand parallel to his body while his right arm rested near his face. He hadn’t felt so rested in years.

 

He blearily blinked in front of him, eyes scoping the room in broad daylight until they connected on the figure in front of him. He gave a sleepy smile, eyes shifting shut once more which earned him a snort.  

 

“Morning doll.” Bucky greeted, hand coming up to stroke Tony’s curls.

 

“Mmm” Tony mumbled, blindly reaching out for Bucky’s hand and gave it a good squeeze.

 

“So, I got a mate who drools and a snores. Ain’t I a lucky fella?” Tony’s eyes shot open and immediately felt around his pillow until he reached a wet spot located at the corner of his mouth. Heat trailed down his neck. He groaned, shoving his head into the pillow.

 

“Don’t snore” He grumbled waiting for the embarrassment to pass before he lifted his head up and shot Bucky a glare. Bucky snickered, mouth showing more gums than teeth, a sight that Tony longed to see more often, but he was too embarrassed to appreciate fully.

 

For whatever reason, Bucky found Tony’s annoyed state utterly amusing. He watched as Bucky snorted, coming onto to his back as he let out a belly chuckle, hands gripping his stomach. “Ya sound one of those horns at those Christmas parades.” He laughed, eyes shut tight.

 

Despite the smile on his face, Tony reached over his head, snatched his pillow and whacked it across Bucky’s chest. “Stop laughing at me!”

 

“Oh no, not the drool-soaked pillow.” Bucky wheezed, bringing his hand up to cover his face. “Have mercy on a poor fella.”

 

“You, James Buchanan Barnes,” Tony pointed at his chest. “Are an utter ass.”

 

Bucky sported a cheeky smile. “Oh, I am huh?” He murmured, taking Tony’s pillow and tossing it carelessly to the floor.

 

“Yes, and a slob too.” Tony stated looking mournfully to the ground.

 

Bucky snorted but his eyes were playful. With the pillow gone, Tony bravely leaned down and rested his chest on Bucky’s. His fingertips touched smooth skin encased with muscles. He lightly thumbed over the chest hair that was lightly sparse at the top of his chest, then smoothed out at his navel.

 

“Now if I remember correctly,” Tony mused. “You had a shirt before going to bed. I guess Brooklyn boys do move fast after all.”

 

Bucky’s lip curled up in a smile. “And who told ya that doll?”

 

“Just a couple of dames at the dance hall. They said Brooklyn’s known for hosting monkey parades. Says the alpha’s get real sweet on the omegas.”

 

Bucky hummed in agreement, brushing Tony’s hair out of his face. He smiled at the memory. “I remember those.”

 

Tony arched an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Meet any beautiful omegas?”

 

“As beautiful as you? Dead chance.”

 

Tony snorted. “C’mon mister smooth talker. You must have had some fun in your days.”

 

Bucky gave him a look that signaled he was offended by that comment. “I’ll have you know I’m the ripe age of twenty-four. Don’t look a day over twenty.” He replied, raising his nose up in a snooty fashion. Tony simply rolled his eyes, lowering his chin on the man’s chest. “But if you must know, I did meet an omega, a girl actually.”

 

Tony stopped tracing his fingers over the man’s stomach and looked up. “Yeah? How was it?”

 

Bucky grunted, eyes lifting to the ceiling as he sighed. “I’ll never know. She scrunched her nose up like she’d smelt something bad when I told her I was a dead hoofer. Apparently, she had some high expectations.”

 

This time it was Tony’s turn to laugh, hand coming up to stifle the noise. “She turned you down because you can’t dance.” He deadpanned.

 

“Doll, I think ‘can’t dance’ is putting it lightly.”

 

Tony gave him a solemn look. “Well, now that I know the truth, I think it’s best if we part ways now.” Bucky stopped him before he could get up, hand wrapping around his waist and flipping them until he was on top.

 

“Not so fast doll.”

 

Tony gave his chest a sympathetic pat. “Look, James you’re a solid fella but I don’t see how this can work.”

 

Bucky gave him a playful pout, leaning in to brush his nose against Tony’s cheek until the smaller man obeyed, tilting his head to the side so that Bucky kissed the side of his neck, hot breath trailing to his throat where he placed a kiss there as well.

 

“Any way I can change your mind on that darlin?” Tony shivered, hands automatically coming up to grip Bucky’s arms before relaxing.

 

“I think I can be persuaded.” He admitted, voice steady despite his racing heartbeat. He swore Bucky could hear it as he trailed his mouth down Tony’s chest, leaving kisses in his wake. Tony felt the muscles of Bucky’s arms tighten as he lowered himself down Tony’s body.

 

A kiss was pressed to his bony hip, fingers curling around Tony’s fleece pajama pants. Bucky glanced up, eyes meeting Tony’s.

 

“May I?” Tony nodded, not trusting his voice. “Lift up darlin’. That’s it.” Bucky slid Tony’s underwear and pants off in one go, tossing them to the ground and out of the way.

 

Slowly, Bucky bent down and grabbed Tony’s thighs, spreading them out to his liking. Tony’s breath hitched as the man started kissing his inner thigh, scruff lightly scratching the skin. He felt his skin prickle with sweat and heart rate accelerate for a completely different reason.

 

Bucky gave him a knowing look. He moved onto Tony’s member, kissing the tip before he took him all in one go. Tony cried out, hands fisting the sheets as an angry flush covered his body.

 

“Damnit it James,” He moaned, toes curling in pleasure. “Warn a fella.”

 

Bucky pulled back with a pop and a devilish smile on his face. “Where’s the fun in that?” He brought a hand down to toy with Tony’s balls, causing the latter to whimper. “God, the sounds ya make. It’s okay darlin, I’ve got you. Let go for me darlin’, wanna see you come undone.”

 

“James.” Tony whimpered as Bucky got back to work, licking his way down the underside of Tony’s member, before taking him back into his mouth. It took all his efforts not to thrust his hips up. Tony simply enjoyed the pleasure he got, hand reaching down to run through Bucky’s tresses.

 

He came with a cry, embarrassingly quick with his hand tightening in Bucky’s hair. He gave a slight tug when it got to be too sensitive. Bucky rose on his forearms and hovered over Tony’s lax body and blissed out smile.

 

“S’ good darlin?”

 

Tony hummed. “Worth the two years waiting.” He agreed landing a tender kiss on Bucky’s lips. He pushed him lightly so that he could get up and rummage under his bed. Bucky watched in confusion until Tony reappeared with a bottle of oil.

 

Realisation dawned on him. “Doll, you don’t have to.”

 

Tony frowned. “You expect me to just leave you hanging? Tough luck soldier, now get over here.”

 

Bucky watched Tony dip his hand into the oil and gestured him over with a nod of his head. “I promise I’m not that bad.” He joked. “Come here sweetheart.”

 

Bucky complied and went back to his original position, hovering over the smaller man beneath him. He tried not to rest his weight on Tony. “Is this alright?” He asked. “M’ not hurtin’ ya am I?”

 

Tony laughed softly, brushing a strand of hair out of Bucky’s eyes. “You know something? You worry too much James.” Bucky flinched, but before he could retreat, he felt a hand wrap around him, stroking him until he was strung out and incomprehensible. He moaned quietly, eyes closing tight and thrusting his hips as Tony twisted his wrist, learning how he could make Bucky’s body sing like his personal muse.

 

“That’s it, take what you need. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” Tony whispered and Bucky nearly sobbed, whimpering as he pressed his nose into Tony’s shoulder. “I’m not going to leave you James, I love you too much.”

 

“Tony.” James cried but Tony simply shushed him, his free hand coming up to stroke his hair.

 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back, I know it’s true.” He murmured, tightening his grip. Bucky thrusted weakly feeling both physically and emotionally bare. It was a truly terrifying feeling, to place his trust in someone else’s hands.

 

He came quietly, nuzzling into the scent gland where Tony’s hint of lavender was most potent. Tony rubbed his hand along his back, until Bucky finally rolled onto his back. Tony was quick to peel his messy shirt off, tossing it to the ground.

 

He proceeded to snuggle his way into Bucky’s arms, hair tickling his bare chest. Tony pulled the covers over their bodies and the two laid in a comfortable silence.

 

“Hey Tony?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I love you too.”

 

~*~

Bucky spent the rest of the morning bent under the kitchen sink, helping Steve with the pipes. The last owners seemed to be holding it together with tape, a cheap alternative for the next fella to deal with. Peggy and Tony had gone out to the market, buying fresh fruit and other goods for lunch.

 

Bucky was humming along to some tune by the Andrews sisters, tapping his foot along to the rhythm when Peggy tapped his leg. “You’ve been under there long enough Barnes.” She scolded, but her tone was soft.

 

Bucky pulled back and gave her a look. “Consider this a wedding present.” He mumbled, sticking his head back under the sink.

 

“You want to give me a present? Then get your head out of our sink and come join civilisation.”

 

Bucky gave her a look. “Ya got more sass than I remember”

 

She sat down with him and suddenly her tone was serious, her gaze calculating. “So how was it out there?”

 

Bucky tightened a screw, concentrated on the task at hand. “How do you think it was?”

 

“Why do you think I’m asking? I wasn’t there.”

 

Bucky sighed. “I don’t know Peggy. It was cold, and a lot of people died.”

 

“Did you make any friends?”

 

“Friends?” Bucky scoffed. “This was a war not a fuckin’ tea party. Ain’t got no time for socializing.”

Peggy pursed her lips, eyes softening. “They died I’ll take it.” She whispered.

 

Bucky casted a sideways glance at her. “Yeah.” He admitted, dropping the wrench in the toolbox. “Most of em’ anyways. Couple got out, some got sent home.” He pulled his head out of the sink and closed the cabinet doors. “It is what it is.”

 

Peggy looked like she wanted to say more but bit her tongue instead. Truth be told, she had no words that would offer any comfort for the soldier. And Bucky wasn’t in the mood to hear it. He was still exhausted from last night.

 

The two sat in silence until Tony and Steve walked into the room, giving his best friend and his fiancée a bright smile.

 

“Hey, ya got the sink fixed, thanks Buck!”

 

“Ain’t no problem, Stevie.” Bucky brushed it off with a wave, arms settling over his knees.

 

Tony shortly followed, disposing his dishes in the sink. “Shall I be the first one to test it out?” He asked, raising his eyebrows in excitement.

 

Bucky wave his hand in front of his body. “Have at it darlin’”

 

Tony stood up on his tippy toes, leaned over the counter and turned the knobs until water rushed out of the faucet. Steve opened the cabinet doors and checked for leakage, whistling in approval.

 

“Well I’ll be damned Buck. I knew there was a reason we keep you around.”

 

“Ya kiss your mama with that mouth Stevie?”

 

Tony snorted. “Yeah, _Stevie,_ watch the language.” He turned the faucet off and spun around, levelling the alpha with a mocking smirk. Steve rolled his eyes.

 

“You two are perfect for each other. And that’s not a compliment.”

 

Bucky barked out a laugh, watching in amusement as Tony clutched his chest as if he’d been wounded. He got up off the floor and dusted himself off before walking over to Tony and laying a loud smack on his lips. To his satisfaction, he heard Stevie groan in disgust.

 

Tony giggled, suddenly shy at Bucky’s display of affection. He bit his bottom lip, toying with it as he peered up at Bucky. “Hey, did you wanna go catch a movie with Peggy and me later? Steve you can come too.”

 

“Peggy and I are trying to save money for the wedding Tony.” Steve said, giving an apologetic shrug.

 

“I figured you’d say that.” Tony smirked, reaching into his pocket to crumple out a twenty-dollar bill. “But consider it my treat.”

 

“Holy smokes.” Steve breathed, eyeing the bill like it was a foreign piece of material. Bucky raised his eyebrows in surprise.

 

“Now I knew there was a reason we kept you around” Peggy joked, walking up to admire the bill. “You just carry these things around in your pockets all day? You’re likely to get roughed up if anyone sees you with this kind of lettuce in this neighbourhood.”

 

Tony made a confused face. “It’s really not that much” He stated, eyebrows drawn together in a frown.

 

Bucky ruffled his hair, causing Tony to scowl and bat the hand away. “Maybe not for you doll, but for us regular folk, it pays a months rent.”

 

“Oh,” Tony admonished, a slight flush rising his cheeks. “I guess I’m still getting used to this. But does that mean you guys are up for it?”

 

“As long as you’re alright spending it on us doll.”

 

~*~

 

The man at the booth looked as surprised as he was annoyed when Tony handed him a twenty-dollar bill. Tony recited his order perfectly, sliding the bill across the counter. The man in front of him lifted his baseball hat to scratch his sweaty head, eyes puzzled and a line forming.

 

“Oh, for Pete’s sake.” A man grumbled. “Hurry up!”

 

Bucky twisted around, glaring at the young man, presumably a beta with a pretty omega dangling off his arm. He looked like he was a few years younger than Bucky and matched Bucky’s glare with one of his own.

 

“What are you looking at?” He sneered.

 

“Look, kid, I’m sure getting angry might impress your dame but you’re annoying the hell out of me. Now, if ya shut your yap, this’ll all pass by quicker got it?”. Bucky didn’t bother waiting for a response. He turned back around and gave Tony’s hip a squeeze. “Ya might want to hurry it up doll.”

 

Tony huffed, looking back at the man. “All I’m saying is that four tickets that price at 34 cents each is $1.36 total. Subtract that from 20$ and my change is $18.64. It’s simple math.”

 

Bucky glanced over at the man who flushed an angry red. He pulled out a couple bills and coins and handed them to Tony. “Next time don’t bring a twenty kid. Next!”

 

Tony took the tickets and handed them off to Bucky. They met Steve and Peggy at the dinner who were already waiting in line for the burgers. The dinner was situated next to the drive in. A separate line had formed for eager people who wanted their meals as they watched the show. Then there were the regular people, the elderly and the middle-aged couples who tried to eat their meals in peace without the disruption of noisy folks.

 

Bucky and Tony were making their way to the car. They left early to ensure they got a good spot. After all, Tony and Peggy were both ecstatic to see “love letters”, a film that Steve and Bucky didn’t particularly care for but put up with because it was an excuse to get out of the house. Tony had chided Bucky, saying he couldn’t judge it until he saw it.

 

The two made their way back to Steve’s car, a black 1940’s ford pickup, that had been placed in reverse so that the rear end was facing the screen. Tony pulled the blankets out of the car and placed them neatly in the back, while Bucky grabbed a bunch of pillows and scattered them wherever.

 

There were hardly any people outside of their cars due to the cold weather, but the wind was calm today and the setting sun set the perfect mood. Still, Bucky and Tony were bundled up in their winter jackets, hats adorning their heads. Bucky sat in the corner, back propped up against the truck, while his left arm dangled over the side.

 

Tony sat on the end of the tailgate, arms resting behind him as he looked up at the pink and orange hues that littered the sky. Bucky tilted his head and watched him. His hair tamed from the hat, legs dangling in excitement. Bucky wished he had a cigarette to calm his nerves. Tony was exceptionally beautiful, and a gnawing feeling of guilt gripped at his chest.

 

“I can hear you thinking.” Tony said, tucking his knees under his chest as he crawled towards Bucky. The alpha opened his arms automatically, tucking the smaller man into his chest. “Everything okay?”

 

Bucky hummed and kissed his forehead. “Where’d ya get the twenty-dollars from doll?”

 

Tony snorted. “Stole it from my old man. And no,” Tony began, when Bucky gave him a disapproving glare, “He’s not gonna find out. Man has too much money to care if a bill goes missing.”

                                                           

Bucky rubbed his arm in a soothing manner. “I just wanna make sure-”

 

“That I’m safe, I know. And I am being safe James, stop worrying so much.” Tony turned slightly and kissed him gently, “you’re gonna get premature grey hair, which okay, you can probably pull off. You know what? You’d actually look sexy like that, I’ll bet that-”

 

Bucky kissed him, partly to stop his mouth from running off the tracks. Tony laughed, but soon melted into the kiss, tilting his head for a better angle. Bucky pulled Tony’s hips forward, until the smaller man was straddling him, and wrapped his right arm around Tony’s waist, pulling him flush against his body.

 

“James, there’s” Tony groaned, when Bucky began peppering wet kisses to his neck. He unbuttoned Tony’s jacket for easy access. “We’re in public. We should stop.”

 

“They can turn away.” Bucky grumbled, hand reaching up to fist Tony’s curls at the base of his neck. He gave a slight tug and marvelled in the way Tony moaned, heat rising to his cheeks. By the time Bucky pulled away, Tony’s eyes were slightly glassy, and his lips were swollen.

 

“M’ such a lucky fella.” Bucky mumbled, tucking a loose curl behind Tony’s ear. “How’d I get so lucky Tony?”

 

Tony leaned forward, nuzzling his way into the crook of Bucky’s neck in lieu of answering. He breathed hot air against Bucky’s neck and breathed in the man’s pine scent. It held a lingering smell of guilt and gun powder.

 

“Can’t believe you’re actually here.” Tony murmured. “Waited so long. Sometimes I didn’t think you were going to come back. Fucking Howard kept telling me to move on.”

 

“You could’ve doll. You still can, if ya want. I wouldn’t be mad.” Tony pulled away from Bucky’s chest, expression hurt.

 

“Why would you say such a thing?” Bucky looked away, fingers tightening around Tony’s thighs. Tony noted the way his jaw ticked in annoyance, before his expression softened and he sighed.

 

“Ya didn’t have to wait, that’s all I’m saying.”

 

“Do you even want me here?”

 

Bucky scoffed. “’Course I want ya here doll, what kind of question is that? You’re the most intelligent, kind and damned finest fella to look at in all of Brooklyn.” Tony pursed his lips, eyes narrowed in confusion.

 

“Then what’s the problem?”

 

Bucky sighed, suddenly looking exhausted as hell. “Nothing’s the problem doll. Forget I said anything.”

 

The two sat in silence, until Tony saw Steve and Peggy walk back to the truck. He slid off Bucky’s lap, taking a seat next to him. He kept close because a part of him didn’t want the engaged couple to know they’d just had a spat, but he refrained from grabbing Bucky’s hand.

 

Not because he didn’t want to. In fact, there wasn’t anything Tony would want more than to grab Bucky’s hand and hold on. But the atmosphere was stale, and Bucky’s eyes held a sort of emptiness that left Tony no choice but to look away.  

 

~*~

 

The next few days dragged on in silence. Tony and Bucky moved in a similar rhythm, handing the other coffee and kissing each other goodnight. Their exchanges lacked the mesmerizing chemistry they once shared years back at the expo. Bucky didn’t blame Tony for not looking at him often, he figured it was only a matter of time before a more suitable alpha waltzed in and freed him.

 

Bucky’s nightmares were relentless, and he often woke up agitated and restless, waiting for the day to be over before it had begun.

 

He snapped at Steve often. His words were vicious and cutting. Bucky knew it was cruel, but Steve was smothering him, and it felt like the only way to establish space in the house.

 

_Steve’s jaw set in a tight line, but his eyes were soft. “Buck, please.”_

_Bucky shot him a look. “It’s a fucking wedding Steve, it’s about you and Peggy. Why do I gotta be there?”_

_Steve made a choked noise. “You’re my best man Buck. Don’t ya think I want you there?”_

_Bucky gave a slow shrug of his shoulders. “You’ve got plenty a coworkers at the school. Ask one of em’ to do it.” He grumbled as he pulled on his jacket and slipped on his boots. Before Steve could retaliate, Bucky had opened the door and walked out into the cold of the night._

The house felt like a prison on most days, which is why he volunteered to buy groceries. The fresh air helped partially, but it was the cigarettes that helped calm his shaking hands. He only smoked when Tony went back home and smoked a couple before bed.

In retrospect, it was a foolish thing to do. Tony smelt it on him the minute he laid down on the soft pillows. Bucky was staring up at the ceiling when he heard Tony’s body shift to his side, staring at him.

 

“What?” he finally asked when it was clear Tony wasn’t going to make the first move.

 

“You’re smoking.” Tony stated. His voice sounded dejected. Tony didn’t smile anymore, and deep-down Bucky knew that was because of him. The realisation formed a lump in his throat.

 

“I know.” He replied. His fingers began to twitch at his sides, but he tried his best not to squirm.

 

“You know those things are bad for you right?” Bucky snorted, and Tony narrowed his eyes, propping himself onto his forearm. “What?”

 

“Nothin’” Bucky dismissed. “Just funny is all” He heard Tony click his tongue against the roof of his mouth in an annoyed gesture.

 

 “What’s funny?”

 

“That you’re talkin’ bout what’s bad for me when you still see your dick of a father. S’ like calling the kettle black.”

 

Bucky didn’t need to look at the man to know he was upset. The tension in the room was nearly palpable. Tony rested his head back on the pillows and shifted his body until his back was facing Bucky’s.

 

“Yeah well, you’re no better than him. Goodnight James.”

 

Bucky blinked at that and turned his head to the side. He opened his mouth to say something but found himself at a loss for words.

 

He stared at the ceiling until light filtered into the room, signaling the start of a new day.

 

~*~

 

It appeared that everyone was able to move on but him. People that passed Bucky on the streets laughed and chattered away. Bucky’s toes felt cold from the snow as he entered the grocery store. He was halfway through his list when he heard a loud crash behind him.

His body tensed immediately, turning to see the sight of a mother scolding her child for running their cart into another family’s. She looked embarrassed as she apologized to the other woman. Bucky felt his muscles clench. He took a step back, bumping into a man.

 

“Watch where ya’re goin’!”

 

“Sorry” Bucky breathed, head pounding. His legs felt wobbly as he looked around for an exit point. Abandoning his cart, he left the store in a hurry only to collapse against the side of the building. He crouched down, pulling off his hat and his mitts.

 

He felt hot and dizzy, his breathing laboured as he tried his best to breathe.

 

“Hey!” A voice called out. Bucky paid no attention to it, staring at the ground. He saw a pair of ratty boots in his line of vision and glanced up, squinting as he tried to recognize the voice.

 

“Gabe?” he breathed, looking up at the dark-skinned alpha. “What’re you doing here?”

 

The man snorted. “I live here Sergeant, you know that.”

 

“Right.” Bucky said, embarrassment washing over him.

 

“Now I ain’t no expert, but you don’t look too hot Sarge.” Bucky stuttered on a laugh. He slowly rose to his feet. He used the wall for stability and gave Private Jones a stern look.

 

“Still a smartass I see.”

 

Jones shrugged and gave a toothy grin. “You know me Sarge. Hey, remember when I’d tell you about my beautiful wife and kids back in the trenches? They’re standing right over there. My son’s a real fan of your war hero stories.” Bucky peered over his shoulder at a woman holding hands with a smaller version of Jones. The kid had a huge smile on his face while the woman looked more reserved, eyeing Bucky with uncertainty.

 

“That’s nice.” Bucky said, forcing a smile. “kid looks just like ya.”

 

“Yeah, he’s a troublemaker that’s for sure.” Gabe smiled. The sight made Bucky jealous which in turn made him guilty. He had no reason to be made at Jones.

 

Jones gave him a similar look that Bucky was well acquainted with these past few weeks. It made his skin crawl and annoyance seep back into his bloodstream. “What?” he grumbled.

 

“You know we leave on Clidesville right? You can stop by anytime ya want. Our doors will always be open for you.”

 

Bucky smiled softly. “Thanks, Gabe.”

 

The man nodded, grabbing Bucky’s shoulders and giving it a tight squeeze. With one last smile, he stepped away and began to walk back to his family.

 

“How do you do it.” Bucky called out, stopping the man in his tracks. Gabe turned around and Bucky gestured to his family with a nod of his head. “How do you look so fine. Why am I- I don’t know how… Damnit why am I so fucked up?” He snapped, pressing his hands to his eyes.

 

He heard Gabe tell his wife to go inside. Bucky felt his eyes sting with tears. Something he never wanted to show was weakness. Not to his men, not to Stevie and definitely not to Tony.

 

Bucky pulled his hands away from his face. Gabe was holding onto his shoulder, keeping Bucky balanced.

 

“I just ran outta the store because two carts clashed against each other. How fucking pathetic is that?” He laughed, foot kicking at the ground. “Saw the way people were starin’ at me too. I know what they think.”

 

Gabe leaned against the wall, shoulders brushing against Bucky’s. He pulled a cigarette out of his coat pocket. He offered one to Bucky, lighting his and then one for himself. He took a long drag and exhaled, smoke fading into the air.

 

“I went pumpkin picking with Cal the other day. It was on a farm with an open field. Looked down and saw mud on my boots. Grabbed him and left. He was so upset he didn’t talk to me all night. Wouldn’t even let me read him a bedtime story.”

 

Bucky tossed the cigarette butt, using the tip of his shoe to ground it into the earth. “Sorry I assumed. Ya just look so happy.”

 

“I am happy.” Gabe agreed. “I love my family. But that don’t mean life’s a walk in the park. I’m scared more often than not, which is not what most people want to hear. I’m sick of people telling me to get over the war. The people who do that ain’t ever seen the kind of shit we saw over there.”

 

Bucky licked his lips. “Ya ever have nightmares?”

 

Gabe nodded his head. “Yeah, but Rose is always there when I wake up. She always seems to make it better. How about you? I remember ya telling me about your fella. Tony right?”

 

Tony nodded his head. “Ya, but he sleeps right through them. I don’t want to tell him. Don’t want to burden him, I’ve already been so terrible to him. God, Gabe you don’t know how bad I’ve been to him.”

 

Gabe had a solemn expression on his face. “And I’m afraid you can’t take that back. But that guilt ya feel inside? I feel it too Sarge, almost every night when I kiss my wife goodnight. But she’s with me every step of the way and when I get real scared at night, her presence alone soothes me back to sleep. Don’t you think that Tony would’ve left by now if he didn’t love you? Maybe he deserves someone better, but he wants you. And if you’re any ounce of the man I remember, I know you’ll do absolutely anything to make him happy. And from what you’ve said, I’d bet my money he wants the same. You gotta learn to lean on him, cause everything will go to shit if you keep pushing him away, maybe not now but eventually. I can guarantee you that.”

 

The guilt that had been bottled up for the past month washed over him in waves. It clung to him tightly, restricting his airway. It had a vice grip and whispered cruel things. It was an ugly thing to face, Bucky didn’t want to face the responsibility.

 

 

“You can always stop by the house if ya need to talk. Sometimes just having someone who’s been through the same shit helps.” Gabe stated, giving Bucky’s shoulder a playful shove. “Don’t worry about it, you’ll get him back.”

 

“Thanks Gabe.” Bucky smiled. For the first time in months, his smile was genuine.

 

 

By the time Bucky had gone back into the store, purchased the groceries, and drove home, he was half an hour late. The house smelt like an array of spices. Bucky could smell the familiar lavender aroma from the kitchen and glanced to the side to see Steve listening to the radio.

 

Bucky toed off his shoes and made his way down the hallway where Tony was busy mixing ingredients into a bowl. He didn’t bother looking up at the alpha.

 

“You’re late.” He stated. “Did you bring the ketchup?”

 

“Yeah,” Bucky murmured, placing the groceries on the table.

 

“Thanks.” Tony’s gaze remained on the bowl as he scooped meatloaf into a bread pan, drizzled ketchup on top, and popped it into the oven.

 

“Tony.”

 

“Yeah?” The omega replied, turning his back to the alpha to wash his hands. He turned the tap off and wiped his hands with a tee towel, before turning to Bucky. His eyes held that same note of sadness, but a tiredness had overcome him as well.

 

Bucky thought about fleeing. All he had to do was turn around and walk out of the house. Instead, he dropped the keys on the table. Tony’s eyes traced the movement, then trailed back to Bucky.

 

Bucky walked up to him and enveloped the smaller man in a hug, bending down awkwardly to press his face into the crook of Tony’s neck where his scent was most prominent. He felt Tony’s body stiffen in shock and heard the towel fall to the ground.

 

“Oh,” Tony stuttered, blinking owlishly. “James?”

 

Bucky pulled away, sheepish. His face lit up with embarrassment and Tony’s heart beat irregularly at the display. It had been so long that Bucky had shown any kind of emotion other than anger and sadness. Looking at him now, nervously staring at his feet, brought a sense of familiarity that Tony had longed to see.

 

“I, uhm. M’ really sorry doll. For how I’ve been acting the past month. Things ain’t been easy but that’s no excuse for treating you like dirt.” Bucky picked up the towel and anxiously wrung it in his hands. “I know I don’t deserve no second chances, but I want to be better. I don’t like feeling like this.”

 

 

Tony sighed and for a moment Bucky feared the damage was already done. He’d pushed too far. Yet, when he felt a hand gingerly brush his cheek, he saw that his own guilt was mirrored in Tony’s.

 

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” Tony whispered. “I knew that what happened out there hurt you. I just- James I didn’t know what to do,” Tony cried, wiping his tears. “I didn’t know how to help. I feel like I failed you.”

 

“Doll,” Bucky murmured. “You didn’t fail me Tony, you were so patient. Way more patient than I deserved.”

 

Tony sniffled and wiped his eyes with his apron. He looked so young. Up close, Bucky could see the bags under his eyes.

 

“C’mere darlin’” Bucky murmured, pulling up a kitchen chair. Tony brushed his hands against his sides. He walked the few steps it took to reach Bucky, then he tiredly fell into his lap, nuzzling his way into Bucky’s neck. “I’m so sorry Tony.”

 

“Missed you so much James. Thought I’d lost you.” Tony mumbled. “Please don’t shut me out. Not again.” Bucky could feel the wetness on his skin and absentmindedly hugged Tony tighter to his body.

 

“I won’t.”

 

“I want to hear everything, do you understand?” Tony pulled away, fingers shaking as he carded them through Bucky’s locks. Bucky held his grip tighter, fingers spanning across Tony’s ribs. “From now on, whatever bad things are happening up there,” he said, tapping on Bucky’s forehead. “You tell me. This relationship is a two-way street. I’m not losing you again, do you understand.” His eyes were red-rimmed, and snot was slowly trickling down his right nostril. It was a testament to how much effort Tony had put into this relationship; how much he cared for him.

 

Bucky nodded his head, bringing the smaller man to his chest once more and placed a kiss to his temple.

“I hear ya Tony.” He murmured, “You’ll hear everything from now on, including the old dame who keeps lookin’ me up at the grocery store.”

 

Tony laughed. It was a sound Bucky hadn’t heard in ages and something he only now realized he wanted more of. Tony’s laughs, his rare shy smiles, and early Sunday morning spent together in bed before the chaos of the day begins.

 

He wanted it all.

 

~*~

 

Peggy and Steve decided on a summer wedding. June 18th to be exact. Tony had offered to help pay for it, which made Bucky anxious. He’d had minor disagreements with Tony about money, but the latter was always quick to diffuse his arguments, saying that Tony was entitled to a limited amount of money that was still substantially greater than lower-class.

 

It took some time to admit to Tony that Bucky was fiercely afraid of the outside world. His trips to the grocery store were the only outside activities that he could manage without being thrown into a panic attack. He briefly wondered how he was able to go to the drive-in with Tony, Steve and Bucky that one night, but he had no answer. He couldn’t explain why sometimes he could convince himself to stay calm in a crowded place and then other times he’d hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he struggled to stay conscious.

 

But Tony was always there, holding Bucky’s clammy hand through his episodes and whispering soothing words into his ears. It felt slightly demeaning; the humiliation he experienced each time for being so heavily reliant on Tony. He was an alpha, and while he didn’t think Tony was the weaker of the two, his instincts told him that he should be the one protecting Tony.

 

Bucky also came clean about his nightmares. Tony tried his best, but he was a heavy sleeper and Bucky surprisingly never kicked in his sleep. Bucky revealed that he often dreamed that Tony was killed or that Steve was being tortured. He had a dream once that he shot Peggy in a raid and his anger made him shoot Gabe and then himself.

 

Sometimes Tony would wake up before Bucky and when he caught the alpha in a nightmare, he’d gently soothe him back to reality. It was hard, but Tony’s able to coax the nightmares out of Bucky’s head. The alpha despised talking about it, because it forced him to relive the war. He was annoyed that Tony never responded to his anger, the way he snapped, _“Dammit Tony, just drop it will ya?”_ Tony often ignored him, shushed him or simply stared with a touch of sadness and affection before enveloping Bucky in a warm hug.

 

Some days life seemed unbearable. Those were the days Bucky would visit Gabe.

 

Gabe Jones had a beautiful home, with a witty wife that reminded Bucky of Peggy and an energetic son who ran circles around the home until he was exhausted. Bucky spent most of his time with Gabe talking about the war. They talked about the other soldiers, like Dum Dum Dugan who’d send Gabe letters about a pretty alpha he’d met.

 

“He’s fallen head over heels for this dame. Shame he’s getting dirty looks from everyone.”

 

Bucky shook his head in disbelief. He’d known Dugan fancied alphas and he never cared for it, so long as Dugan did his job in the trenches. He thought about Tony, if he had been an alpha. Bucky had a growing suspicion Tony’s dad despised him already. If Tony came out as an alpha and then mated with another alpha, Howard Stark would blow a fuse.

 

“The world’s a fucked-up place. Dugan doesn’t deserve any of that shit, especially after he’d gone and risked his life for the same people who’re sticking their noses up.”

 

“Cheers to a fucked-up world.” Gabe agreed, holding up his can of beer to clink against Bucky’s. He patted along his body until he found his cigarettes. He slipped one in his mouth then offered one to Bucky.

 

“Tryin’ to quit actually.” Bucky admitted.

 

“Good on ya. These things are a bitch. Real addicting I tell ya. Hey!” Gabe snatched Cal who had run past them for the umpteenth time. The boy yelped as his dad placed the pup on his lap. He reached for the cigarette, but Gabe was quicker to pull away. “Nu-uh Cal. Promise me ya ain’t gonna start smoking these when you’re older.”

 

Cal frowned. “But you’re smokin’ em right now Papa.”

 

Gabe placed the cigarette in the ashtray. “I realize that Cal but trust me they aren’t good for ya. So promise me you’re never gonna try it.

 

“I promise Papa.” Cal said, turning towards Bucky. “Mister Barnes, ya bring me a present?”

 

Gabe tapped his son’s thigh. “That’s no way to treat a guest Cal.” He said sternly. Bucky waved him off.

 

“S’ all good Gabe,” Bucky shifted through his coat pocket and pulled out a small chocolate bar. “Looks like I got somethin’ after all. Go on it’s yours.” Cal snatched the chocolate bar, eyes lit with excitement.

 

“What do ya say Cal?” Gabe pressed.

 

“Thanks Mister Barnes.”

 

“Bucky is fine Cal.”

 

Gabe lifted Cal off his lap and back onto the ground. “Now, you wait until after supper before you eat that understand?” Cal nodded his head. “Alright, off ya go.” Cal dashed out of the room. Bucky watched him go, a soft smile tugging on his lips.

 

Gabe lit another cigarette. “Oh God,” he laughed. “You’ve got it bad.”

 

Bucky frowned. “What?”

 

“Baby fever. Never thought I’d picture it; the Sarge wanting kids.”

 

Bucky snorted. “I don’t think that’ll happen anytime soon.”

 

Gabe shrugged. “I give it a few years before you’ve got your first. I mean, you’re probably at it like bunnies every night.” Bucky looked down, ears reddening. Gabe barked on a laugh. “No way!” he exclaimed.

 

“Shut up.” Bucky mumbled.

 

“You haven’t gotten any!” Gabe slapped his knee. “This is priceless!”

 

“I said shut yer trap Jones.” Bucky barked.

 

“Wait till I write about this to Dugan.” Gabe continued. “Oh God, please tell me you’re not a virgin.”

 

“Course not.” Bucky frowned. “Look, the last month has been real rough on us. We’re just starting to get our footing and I want our first time to be special. That’s all.”

 

Gabe took a long drag and exhaled with a smile. “I’m still writing this to Dugan.”

 

Bucky groaned.

 

~*~

 

When he was a child, Tony slept through his father’s drunken screaming with his mom without a stir.

There were times where he slept through thunderstorms without even stirring. It was damn near impossible to coax Tony awake. However, there were always special exceptions.

 

Like the feeling of water trickling down his back.

 

Tony’s eyes crinkled in confusion. Had he fallen into the water in his dream? He never recalled having dreams that felt as realistic as the wetness that clung to his body. He heard whimpering beside him and automatically turned his head to the side. He opened his eyes and frowned at the sight of Bucky lying still as a soldier on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

 

Tony moved to get up, but a voice stopped him.

 

“Don’t.” The word sounded cold, almost as if it came from a stranger. Tony turned to his side, reaching his hand out to his mate.

 

“James? I don’t…oh.” He realized, as the smell of urine reached his nose. He sat up fully and patted the area around him. The bed was soaked. Distress and humiliation mingled in the room. Tony blinked, wondering how long Bucky had laid in his own piss, terrified of Tony knowing.

 

“Tony.” He begged, stuttering as he reached his hand to Tony’s side. When he found the bed was empty, Bucky let out a broken sob. Tony ran to his side, panic rising in his chest. He nearly tripped over his shoes in a haste to get to Bucky.

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I’m here. Shh,” Tony blindly reached for Bucky’s hand and smoothed it across his sweaty chest while he fumbled for light with the other. “Just hold on honey, let me turn on the light.” Tony turned the knob. Artificial light illuminated the room. Tony squinted at the initial brightness before turning back to Bucky.

 

Tony bit his lip hard to stifle his own cries. Bucky was sobbing. Tony watched helplessly as the man’s hands trembled as they rested on his chest. It was painful to hear his stuttered breaths.

 

He sounded like he was dying.

 

“Hey, James.” Tony whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. He remained calm, trying his best to level his voice into something soft and soothing. He gently took Bucky’s hands in his and rubbed circles over his knuckles. “My handsome James. You’re so brave honey.” He reached down and pressed a kiss to each knuckle. “My brave soldier. Fighting so hard; you must be so tired honey. I’m here James okay? Do you know that? I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”

 

“M’ sorry.” Bucky rolled onto his side. “Get outta here. Don’t wantcha to see this.” He slurred, pressing the palm of his hands against his eyes.

 

“Not leaving.” Tony replied, crouching on the bed. He combed his hands through Bucky’s hair, sweat slicking his fingers. He gave his nape a gentle squeeze, rubbing his thumb along his stubbled jaw. He tugged Bucky into a sitting position. “We have to clean up now honey, come on.”

 

Bucky pushed at his hands weakly. “Leave me alone”

 

“James please.”

 

“Leave me alone damnit!” Bucky snapped. “For fuck’s sake Tony, just move on already!”

 

_Tick, tick, tick._

 

Tony stared at the clock on the wall, his mind racing but his lips felt like lead. Any argument he had fell short, so he opted for silence. He felt his heartbeat slow down as he stared at short hand sneak past the four.

 

Tony felt the bed shift and the springs of the mattress creak as Bucky sat up beside him. Their elbows touched, and Tony swayed his feet back and forth gently, toes grazing the carpet. Then he stood up and padded over to the dresser. Tony opened the first drawer and pulled out a ratty old shoebox Steve had let him borrow.

 

Tony sat back down and silently offered the box to Bucky. The alpha accepted the box and tentatively ran his fingers over the cover. “What’s this?”

 

“Open it.”

 

Bucky did. He placed the top behind him and pulled out the stacks of letters Tony had accumulated over time. Tony watched Bucky trail his fingers over the edges of the letters, thumbing the stamps along the envelopes that Tony had eagerly ripped open the moment he got them.

 

“You kept them.”

 

“Yeah I did.”

 

Bucky selected a random letter and opened it. He reread the letter, noting his messy scrawls and horrid spelling.

 

“In one of the letters,” Tony began, placing his hands over Bucky’s as he shifted through the pile. He pulled the letter that was dated December 18th, 1944 and unfolded the paper. “This one’s my favourite. You talked a lot about Gabe and this guy named ‘Dum Dum’. Said how they drove you nuts sometimes.”

 

“Most annoying guys around.” Bucky snorted. “Was tempted to plug my ears with mud, they’d talk through the night and get the other guys frazzled.”

 

Tony smiled softly, inching closer. “My favourite part though? It’s when you wrote about that night at the expo. You’re very shrewd, you know that?”

 

Bucky gave a slow shrug in lieu of answering. “And right here,” Tony continued, pointing at the bottom of the page. “That’s where you told me, promised me, the moment you got back, we’d start our lives together.”

 

Bucky didn’t need to read over the paragraph to know Tony was right. He remembered writing that letter in the early dawn of the morning before anyone had woken.

 

“James?” Tony slipped his hand into Bucky’s. “I don’t need the perfect life. _Hell,_ I don’t expect our lives to be perfect. No one’s is, no matter what you read in the newspaper. Rich or poor, life gets us all in the end.” The grip in Tony’s hand tightened. Tony swallowed. “I can’t promise you much James, but I can promise you this. There’s gonna be days where we’ll want to throw the towel in and give up. Life’s messy like that, it can drive even the most enamoured people mad. But I also know that there’s gonna be a lot of good times too, if you want that. I’m here James. I don’t know how else to tell you that I’m not going anywhere. But if you truly want me to leave, I will. I’ll respect that.”

 

“Don’t wantcha to go.” Bucky picked at the dirt underneath his fingers in a nervous fashion. “You remember how you told me to open up about the war? Well, I’ve been seeing Gabe and he’s been helping me a lot.”

 

Tony smiled. “That’s great honey.” He murmured.

 

“Yeah and it’s not like I prefer talkin’ to him over you, it’s just he gets it ya know? I had him with me on the front line, he’s seen the same shit I have.” Bucky swallowed. “It got real bad over there.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“I… alright. But don’t ya think we should?” He gestured to their bodies before scrunching his nose up. “Smells terrible.”

 

Tony pursed his lips. “Wait right there.”

 

It was a few minutes later that Tony came back with a basin and a washcloth. He bent over slightly and rung any excess water into the bowl. He looked up at James. “Are you okay to take your clothes off?”

 

Bucky nodded mutely, stood and then proceeded to peel off his wet clothes. They fell in a heap on the carpet. He shivered slightly and wished the light was turned off. Tony stepped closer, trailing his fingertips along Bucky’s arm until he reached his hand and interlocked their fingers.

 

“I’m going to wash you now.” Tony instructed, voice soft like honey. He started at Bucky’s legs, trailing up his calves, to his thighs and higher up. Bucky whimpered softly, gripping Tony’s hand as he cleaned the inside of his legs. He widened his stance, humiliation and adoration crawling up his spine.

 

Tony dipped the cloth back in the basin and squeezed the water out. It was harder one-handed, but he managed. He began humming a slow song that Bucky didn’t recognize.

 

“ _No other love can warm my heart_ ,” He began, voice soft, barely a mumble. “ _Now that I’ve known the comfort of your arms. No other love._ ”

 

Water dripped onto Bucky’s skin. Tony’s voice was warm and surrounding the stillness of the room. Now Tony wasn’t no Frank Sinatra, but his singing was soft and pleasant to Bucky’s ears.

 

Tony peeled off his clothes and quickly washed himself. “ _No other lips could want you more, for I was born to glory in your kiss.”_ Bucky sat still, toes digging into the carpet as Tony flashed him a coy, but soft smile. He leaned over, lips brushing against Bucky’s. “ _Forever yours”_ he hummed, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

 

“Stand up honey,” he directed. “Go get dressed, I’ll strip the bed.”

 

Bucky followed Tony’s orders, pulling out a pair of underwear and pajamas. He got a pair for Tony as well. Tony smiled in thanks, dropping the sheets in a basket. “We’ll worry about that tomorrow, c’mon let’s go sleep on the couch.”

 

It was a narrow squeeze and Bucky knew his neck would be sore in the morning, but he was too pleased to have Tony in his arms. A blanket was pulled over their bodies, Bucky’s front flush with Tony’s back. He buried his nose into Tony’s neck, breathing in that calming lavender scent.

 

“Thank you.” He whispered, soon falling back to sleep.

 

~*~

 

New Year’s Eve rolled by with surprising ease. It was also the first year he’d be spending it with his alpha. Tony had refused to schmooze his way through another stuck-up party filled with money-hungry alpha’s. Howard was livid and threatened to cut Tony’s allowance.

 

“So, what does the Brooklyn side of town do on New Year’s” Tony drawled, draping his arms over the sofa. “I’m going to be honest, my expectations are high.”

 

“What, your posh people already boring you doll?” Bucky grinned, reaching up for a kiss.

 

“Why don’t you show me a good time and I’ll decide huh?”

 

Peggy swatted Bucky’s knee, causing him to stir his eyes away from Tony. “How about the dance hall on 14th avenue.” She offered, smiling at Steve. “Wouldn’t that be swell? Oh, Steve darling, I want to go dancing.”

 

Steve gave her a soft smile. “Alright Pegs, just promise you’ll wear those penny loafers? Don’t want you towering over me.” He rubbed his hand self-consciously over his neck.

 

Peggy rolled her eyes, her expression fond. “You’re still my handsome alpha whether I wear the strappy heels or not Steve.”

 

Bucky scrunched his nose up, covering Tony’s eyes as if he were a child as the couple kissed. “Get a room you two.” He groaned. Tony giggled, pulling away from Bucky’s face.

 

Steve pulled away after a few moments and shot his best friend a dirty look. “As if I wanna see you and Tony making goo-goo eyes at six in the morning.”

“Least I don’t draw pictures of my omega and hang them in the foyer.”

 

Steve’s face turned bright red. “Shut up jerk, it’s romantic.” he mumbled.

 

“I actually like Steve’s work,” Tony chimed in. “he’s a very good artist.”

 

Steve perked up and smiled. “Thank you, Tony.” Peggy smiled, tracing her hand down the nape of Steve’s neck.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Alright Punk, you’ve seemed to have won over the omegas,” He stood up and made his way over to the kitchen. “But I believe if they had to choose between a pretty picture and my legendary chocolate chip cookies, I think it’s obvious what they’d choose.”

 

 Peggy seemed to perk up at the suggestion. “You’re making a batch?”

 

“Peggy!” Steve protested.

 

“Why yes I am sweet Peggy,” Bucky smiled. “Ya interested?”

 

The woman looked at Bucky, frowning because she knew exactly what he was doing. But she also knew that Bucky only ever made his infamous cookies during the holidays and there was no way in hell she’d turn down the offer.

 

Steve gawked as his fiancée left his lap and joined Bucky at the counter. Bucky threw Steve a toothy grin and turned to Tony. “And what say you doll?”

 

Tony pursed his lips. “Just for the record, after I eat these delicious cookies, I’m back on Steve’s side.”

 

~*~

 

“You’re not that bad!” Tony shouted over the roar of swing music, laughing as Bucky gave him a crooked grin.

 

 “I look like a chicken with its head cut off!” He shouted back, glancing at the other alphas who swung their mates around with pride and ease. Hell, even Stevie was doing a swell job of knocking Peggy off her feet.

 

In the crowded dance hall Bucky had never felt more anxious and alive. It was the first time since the war that he’d gone to a party. He tried not to bump into people as the sound of trumpets and trombones resonated in the dance hall. A man tickling the keys of the piano helped Bucky stay in a decent rhythm.

 

“There you go!” Tony laughed, grabbing Bucky’s hand and swinging out. His feet danced beneath them in a fluid motion. His free hand reached up above his head in a carefree display. Tony was more playful and younger than Bucky had seen him in months. It made Bucky’s insecurity about dancing worth it. He brought Tony in close then swung him out. He tried to mimic Tony’s footwork but to no avail. So, he settled on twirling his omega in his arms.

Tony wore high-waisted slacks with pleats down the sides. He wore a matching black shirt with a white sailor’s collar and a black belt with a silver buckle that cinched perfectly at the waist, accentuating what curves he had on his small frame.

 

In his peripheral, Steve may have stood shorter than Peggy, but his confidence was soaring. He brought Peggy to his hip, then swung her back out like a yo-yo. In a flash she landed in Bucky’s arms and Tony ducked, joining Steve.

 

Peggy was dressed in a red polka dot dress that fell to her knees. Her hair was pinned up, loose strands falling in her face. She wore a bright red lipstick and her strappy heels that showed off long legs covered in nylon. When Bucky spun her, the dress rode up mid-thigh, revealing a hint of a garter belt.

 

“Stevie’s in for a treat I take it.” Bucky grinned.

 

Peggy danced to the beat and tapped her shoes against the floor boards. She came in close and flashed him a mischievous smile. “And what about Tony? Poor thing won’t stop complaining about trying to get in your knickers.”

 

Bucky blamed his red cheeks on the heat of the night and the exertion of dancing. “Want it to be special Peggy.”

 

“Well, there’s no better night than tonight is there?” Bucky lifted his arm high and Peggy swung underneath and twisted back. “You know how I worked here the summer I came to America?”

 

“Yeah, why?” Bucky scrunched his eyebrows.

 

“See that woman over there?” she nodded over to the woman on stage playing the trumpet. “She’s married to the man playing the piano. They own this place and so happen to live in the basement. They lent me the key to do their laundry and help with the maintenance of the place.”

 

“Okay?” Bucky wasn’t quite sure where this was going.

 

Peggy dipped into her brassiere and Bucky quickly glanced around to make sure no one was looking. He glared at a man who stared too long, lip snarling in a warning. The man glared back but looked away, continuing to spin his omega off her feet.

 

Bucky turned back to Peggy and his eyes widened as she pulled out a key and a packet, flashing him a smile. When her hands reconnected with his, Bucky’s hands touched warm metal. He spun her with his opposite hand and slyly tucked the key into his trousers.

 

“I was gonna use it with Steve, but you guys look like you need it more.” Her neatly shaped eyebrows rose in mirth. “Just make sure you change the sheets when you’re done. Party shouldn’t go past two in the morning.”

 

Bucky reeled her in and placed an affectionate kiss to her temple. “Thank you, Peggy.” He pulled back. “Really. For everything.”

 

Peggy pinched his cheek in a motherly way and winked as Tony and Steve approached. Once Tony was back in Bucky’s arms, they moved to a slower tempo. Tony’s face was flushed, damp curls clung to his forehead. Bucky brought him in close. Tony blew hot breaths, still slightly winded from an hour of dancing.

 

Bucky caught a glance at the huge clock on the wall reading 11:37. The music switched to a slower tempo and everyone else followed suit. His eyes drifted down to his omega who was gazing at him through hooded eyes. Bucky pressed in closer, fitting a knee between Tony’s legs as they swayed to the music.

 

“Have I told you how gorgeous ya look tonight doll?” Bucky rumbled, eyes raking over the omega’s body.

 

Tony smiled. “About half as handsome as you look in that suit?”

 

“Even better.”

 

The omega preened, raising his chin up to look at his alpha. Tony looked so delicate wrapped up in his arms, Bucky couldn’t resist. He dipped his mate, a strong hand on his lower back while the other intertwined with Tony’s. Tony arched his back, baring his throat for a solid three seconds before coming back up. Bucky’s eyes flashed faintly and brought Tony in for a soft kiss.

 

They went back to dancing softly. Off to the side Peggy and Steve were huddled in close, lost in their own world. Bucky leaned back slightly, enough for his knee to brush up against Tony’s semi-hard erection. The latter moaned, like the air had been knocked out of him. His hands gripping the fabric of Bucky’s jacket on impulse.

 

“Bucky,” he whined, eyes trying their best to stay alert.

 

“Haven’t heard ya call me that in a while doll.” Bucky noted.

 

Tony shut his eyes tightly. “Slipped out.”

 

Bucky hummed, eyes glancing at the people around them. “Like that moan? Careful doll, you’re getting quite the audience.” He murmured, glancing at the few alphas and omegas who threw the couple discrete glances. Bucky’s hands tightened around Tony’s waist, bringing him even closer. He was sure if a penny was placed between them, it wouldn’t drop.

 

“Don’t care.” Tony whispered, standing up on his tippy toes. He nuzzled his way into the crook of Bucky’s neck and gave his ear a playful tug with his teeth. “Want you right now.”

 

“In front of all these people?” Bucky joked.

 

Tony threw him a coy smile. “I’m sure you’d get off on that, showing everyone I’m yours.”

 

“Think I’d rather have ya to myself actually. You’re not a prize to be bought doll.” His leg moved again, brushing up against Tony’s front. The omega whimpered, louder this time. A few heads turned. “Although I do love how responsive you get.” Bucky grinned at the angry flush that painted Tony’s cheeks.

 

Tony huffed, breathless. “You’ve got five seconds to get me somewhere that doesn’t have some old hag scorning at me.”

 

“Ya can’t get anywhere in five seconds.”

 

Tony bit down on Bucky’s ear in a warning. “ _James.”_

Bucky chuckled. “Alright, alright. Follow me.” He grabbed Tony’s hand, ducking through the crowd and towards the basement where the public washrooms were. Omegas and Alpha walked in and out, some drunk others only mildly intoxicated. He could hear the moans of a couple coming from one of the stalls and an alpha angrily knocking his fist on the door.

 

“How classy.” Tony laughed. Bucky threw him a sly grin over his shoulder and dragged him in the opposite direction. He turned left into an abandoned hallway. A plain white door stood in front of them.

 

Tony frowned. “Uh, James I don’t think we’re supposed to be here.”

 

In lieu of answering Bucky gently grabbed Tony’s hips and backed the smaller man against the wall. Tony exhaled, heart beating erratically as Bucky flashed him a playful smirk, propping one arm against the wall and leaned in close. “Ya wanna test this out doll?” he asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key that reflected light off the soft yellow hue of the overhead light above them.

 

“How’d you get that?”

 

Bucky leaned back, smile sly. “Not important. How bout it darlin’?”

 

Tony peered at the end of the hallway then back to the alpha. “What if we get caught?”

 

“That’s part of the fun.” He winked. “Don’t worry doll, we won’t. Choice is yours.”  

 

Tony watched the key flip between Bucky’s index and thumb. Somewhere between the dancefloor and the basement, Bucky had loosened his collar, revealing a patch of sweaty skin. Tony’s arousal hadn’t dissipated in the slightest and the adrenaline of doing something they shouldn’t had only spiked his interest.

 

Tony cupped the back of Bucky’s neck and brought him down for a bruising kiss. He could feel Bucky’s smile and he gave him a teasing nip. “You’re a bad influence James.” He breathed, mouthing at his neck.

 

“So, is that a yes?”

 

Tony trailed his hands down the sides of Bucky’s torso, feeling the muscles tensing with anticipation. His mouth kissed along his collarbone. “Mhmm,” he murmured. “Yeah, honey. Take me inside.”

 

Bucky’s hands hooked underneath Tony’s armpits and pushed up. Tony squealed at the sudden move, gripping the material of Bucky’s jacket last second and wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist. The alpha’s arm enclosed around his waist, presence strong and grip firm. Tony dug his heels into his alpha’s back, stifling his arousal.

 

“James,” He groaned, eyes shutting tightly. His body felt strung out and sensitive already and they’d barely started. It took all his willpower not to rut up against him like a whiny omega. “Please.”

 

“I gotcha darlin’,” Bucky pulled away slightly to unlock the door. He heard the door lock and then Bucky was moving, sifting around until he found the bedroom located across from the small kitchen.

 

The room was small, the bedsheets decorated in some floral pattern. Bucky gently deposited Tony on the bed and peeled off his tie, dropping it to the floor. He locked the door and fumbled for the light switch. An overhead light flickered, humming gently before turning on.

 

Tony sat up to untie his shoes, but Bucky stopped him, pushing off the door frame as he made his way to the bed. “Hold on doll, no rush.” He caught Tony’s foot and placed it between his legs, untied the laces and pulled the shoe off. He repeated both sides, his actions slow and patient. Tony smiled, despite his arousal and lifted his foot higher, signaling at his socks.

 

Bucky snorted. “Impatient” He peeled off the socks, eyes widening at the nylon that covered his feet. “You didn’t” Bucky breathed, dark eyes flickering to Tony.

 

Tony inwardly preened at the strong scent of excitement coming from the alpha. He lifted the leg that was between Bucky’s legs towards his body, brushing his foot along the man’s hardness. Bucky groaned, snatching Tony’s ankle and bringing it towards his hip. He caught hold of Tony’s other leg and pulled him forward until he was at the edge of the bed. Tony gasped as his shirt hiked up to his back, leaving his tummy exposed to the cold air. His belt pressed against his bare skin with every exhale, the cold metal making him shiver.

 

“Jesus, doll. You’re the prettiest sight I’ve ever seen, and I haven’t even gotcha undressed yet.” Tony tugged at his pants, his fingers shaking as he tried to unbuckle his belt. There was a pounding in his ears, of desire and nervousness. He sighed in frustration at such a simple task.

 

“It’s okay, shh Tony. I got it, just lay back.” Bucky instructed, his warm hand pushing against Tony’s stomach, urging him to lie back. “You’re strung out darlin’, take it easy.”

 

“I’m nervous.” He admitted, hands trembling as they rested on his body. “Wanna do it right.”

 

“Darlin’,” Bucky smiled. “I don’t think you could possibly do anything wrong. But if it makes ya feel any better I’m nervous too.”

 

Tony frowned in disbelief. “You are?” he asked, coming onto his forearms to stare at the man. “Your hands aren’t shaking.”

 

Bucky shrugged, his hair falling in front of his face. He gave Tony a soft smile that did wonders to the butterflies in his stomach. “Don’t need to be, ya feel this?” Bucky brought Tony’s hand up and placed his palm to his beating chest. “That’s all you darlin’. You’ve got this crazy effect on me. Makes me scared shitless some days. God, you’ve been so good to me Tony. Just wanna treat my fella right.”

 

Upstairs, Tony could hear the music and the sound of people stomping their feet. It was relatively quiet down here, a safety net of vulnerability on both parts. Bucky brought Tony’s hand back up and kissed his wrists, then his fingers and every knuckle. Every touch of Bucky’s soft lips on his body made Tony’s overheat with pleasure, until he was wiggling his hips to get the man’s attention.

 

Bucky’s heated gaze landed on Tony’s lower half. Slowly, he peeled the slacks off, groaning at the sight. Dressed in white panties, Tony laid on the bed for Bucky’s approval, quelling his nerves as Bucky’s eyes trailed over the panties and the garter belt, attached to black sheer stockings that came up mid-thigh.

 

“Jesus Christ Tony,” Bucky breathed, his voice hoarse with arousal. “Must’ve been damn amazing in a past life to deserve this. Scoot back for me dollface.”

 

Tony pushed back along the bed, welcoming Bucky with the spread of his legs. He felt the tip of his cock push out from the panties, dripping against his belly. What a sight he must have been, debauched already and restless for his alpha.

 

Bucky took his time peeling out of his clothes, but his hungry eyes spoke another language. Tony tempted the idea of touching himself but settled on taking off his shirt, tossing it haphazardly to the floor. He wanted to clench his thighs together, relieve some of the pressure building up. The thought was thrown out of the window as Bucky got on the bed. The mattress creaked under their weight. Bucky crawled in between Tony’s legs, fingers tracing over the silk of the panties.

 

His thumb traced over the tip of Tony’s dick, causing the omega to hiss at the sensation. “James.” He whimpered, closing his legs.

 

Bucky gave him a playful tap against his knee. “Keep them open doll, I was enjoying the view.” To prove his point, he brushed his thumb against the pink bow on the front of the underwear. He dipped his fingers underneath the straps of the belt, testing their flexibility. His hands traced the nylon. “Weren’t you hot dancing in these under your slacks?”

 

Tony shrugged his shoulders. “Uhm, a bit I guess. Wasn’t really focused on it. You like it?”

 

Bucky hummed, leaning in for a kiss. “Think that’s an understatement.” Tony returned the kiss, trying to regain some control. He bit Bucky’s lip playfully, smiling at the chuckle he got in return. Bucky looked playful and warm and Tony knew then that he’d wanted nothing more than he could give.

 

It seemed bizarre that Bucky had been hovering over him, naked, for the past five minutes and he’d only know notice the metal necklace. Bucky eyes trailed the movement and Tony could see the slight hesitation before he pulled back, suddenly sheepish.

 

“I was talking with Gabe about the war. He said he’s trying to associate positive of his home life with what happened out there. He, uh, gave his dog tags to his wife Alice. They gave us these in case we died out there, would’ve been easier to identify us.” Tony frowned, and Bucky rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry that sounds really dark. What I’m trying to say is, it’s yours if you want it. You make me happy Tony and I know you’d keep it safe. Kinda like saying you’ll always have a part of me. Does that make sense? I phrased that-”

 

Tony pulled him in, peppering his mouth with kisses as tears stung his eyes. He choked on a laugh that kind of sounded like a sob and nodded his head. “Yeah James, I’ll wear it.”

 

“Yeah?” He took it off and looped it over Tony’s head. It sat on his chest. Tony flipped it over and read the front.

 

_James Buchanan Barnes_

_March 17, 1921 American_

He squeezed the metal between his fingers and laid back down on the soft sheets. The tremors in his hands had dissipated somewhat now that he had something to hold onto. He gave Bucky an encouraging smile. “Get to it soldier.” He quipped.

 

Bucky snorted and gave a lazy salute, lowering himself to his forearms. “Aye, aye Captain.” Tony lifted his hips as Bucky peeled off his panties. He had to unclasp the straps to pull them over his legs.

 

He pressed a kiss to the insides of Tony’s thighs. The omega whimpered, spreading his legs subconsciously. Bucky brushed up against his entrance with the tip of his nose then licked his way inside. Tony’s legs snapped closed but luckily Bucky was expecting it and managed to catch his thighs before they squished his head.

 

He pulled back and flashed Tony a wicked grin. “We’ll work on that doll.” Tony moaned at the sight of slick on his lips. “God Tony, you taste so good. Bet you’re real sensitive right here aren’t ya darlin’?” He trailed his finger against the omegas entrance. “Relax for me, that’s it. My pretty omega.”

 

The first digit felt uncomfortable, not because it hurt, but because Tony was new to the experience. He’d gone down on one other alpha besides Bucky and the rich man was such a snob he didn’t return the favor.

 

Tony wiggled his hips experimentally. “How’s it feel?” Bucky asked. “M’ I good to add another one?”

 

“I think so. Am I doing this right?”

 

Bucky grinned. “How could you be doing it wrong?” Tony shrugged, hiding his blush by looking away.

“Am I good to move doll?”

 

Tony’s eyes widened. “That’s not it? There’s more?”

 

Bucky barked on laughter. “Course there’s more, I haven’t made ya feel good yet.”

 

Tony’s nose scrunched up adorably. “My father says it’s the alpha’s pleasure that matters.”

 

Bucky looked torn between disgust and a scowl. “Okay doll first off, no taking about your father while my fingers are in ya and second,” He curled his fingers forward, making Tony cry out, toes curled in pleasure. “Any alpha who doesn’t pleasure their omega is fuckin’ pathetic in my books.”

 

“Oh my God,” Tony shut his eyes, nails digging into Bucky’s shoulders. “You would think I would’ve explored that part of me by now.”

 

“I’m a little surprised ya didn’t,” Bucky agreed, hand cupping Tony’s cock and twisting it with a flick of the wrist. “Please tell me you explored this part.”

 

Tony’s eyes were glazed but he still managed a glare. “I’m a posh, not a prude. Of course I touched that.”

 

Bucky tried his best not to smile. “Just checking.” He relaxed his fingers then added a third one, stretching the smaller man until he was dazed and impatient.

 

“M’ ready James. C’mon.” He pouted, “Don’t you wanna be inside your fella?” He drawled, trying his best to mimic the alpha’s accent. Bucky shot him a glare, curling his fingers once more just to wipe that smug grin off Tony’s face as he watched the omega writhe in pleasure.

 

“Need a rubber.” He muttered, pulling out and grabbing his pants off the floor. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the packaging. Once he was ready, he got back on the bed and scooped up the slick pooling beneath Tony’s legs and coated his cock. He moaned at the sound of it, fucking into his fist before placing it at Tony’s entrance. “Ya ready doll?”

 

Tony nodded. “Okay, wrap your legs round my waist, yeah just like that darlin’.” Bucky snatched a pillow and placed it under Tony’s hips. He slowly pushed inside, pausing with every exhale that tumbled out of Tony’s mouth. He brought his arms around Bucky’s neck and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

“Ya let me know when you’re ready darling.” Bucky said, his voice strained. Tony tried his best to relax his muscles, the tremors in his hands coming back full force. He gripped the dog chains with his left hand. Bucky was already watching him, his eyes soft and warm. Tony felt his stomach flutter and gave a slow nod of his head.

 

The first can’t of his hips, Bucky was careful; testing out the waters. Tony moaned loudly, covering his mouth to stifle the noise. “Wantcha ya loud doll.” Bucky grunted, moving in sharp, quick thrusts. “Want the whole damn dance hall to hear how good you take me.” Tony mewled, toes curling as the headboard clashed against the wall with every thrust.

 

“M’ yours James.” He slurred, head thrown back in pleasure. “Always was, always will be.”

 

“Yeah, I know sweetheart. M’ yours, as long as you want me.”

 

Tony held Bucky close, and ran his hand down the alpha’s back. He curled his hand around the nape of his neck, tightening around the sweaty strands and pushing him towards his neck. “Wantcha here forever. With me. Want a family James; the whole picket fence and everything.” He garbled.

 

Bucky buried his face into the crook of Tony’s neck, pushing his hips forward into the man’s heat. “Yeah, want me to fill ya with pups? God Tony, you’d look gorgeous I just know it.”

 

Tony hummed. “Want that honey. You’d have to marry me first.”

 

Bucky pressed a bruising kiss to Tony’s mouth. “I’d marry ya right now, if that’s what ya wanted.” And Tony knew he was telling the truth. It was in the way he took care of Tony, holding him in his arms as if he was something valuable.

 

Tony tightened his grip on the dog tags. “James I feel it, I’m close.”

 

“Go on sweetheart, I’ve gotcha.” Bucky picked up the pace, not giving Tony any time to object and before he knew it, he was spilling between their bodies. Bucky followed suit and the two laid in silence, trying to gather their breaths.

 

Tony whimpered when Bucky pulled out. In a panic he reached forward but Bucky was already there, stroking his damp curls and kissing his cheek.

 

“Shh, doll. No need to worry, M’ not going. I’m here.” Tony nodded blindly, eyes drifting closed when he’d realized that Bucky wasn’t leaving him. He was here, he was present. Different, but still the same man he was drawn to that night at the expo.

 

Tony rested his head on Bucky’s chest, nosing along his armpit for a potent smell of his pine scent. Bucky chortled, body shaking with breathless laughs. “Yer something else doll.”

 

“Don’t ever want to leave,” he breathed, stretching his body out with a content cat. “Want to bottle this moment up and save it forever.”

 

“You’ll get plenty more of these moments, hopefully in our own bedroom.” With realization dawning on him, Tony opened his eyes and groaned, body heating up in embarrassment.

 

“These poor people.” He muttered sadly.

 

Bucky smirked. “Don’t worry doll, we’ll change the sheets before we go. Maybe even write them a little thank you note.”  

 

The two stayed like that, lying in each other’s warmth until the sound of people shouting the countdown grew louder and louder until everyone cheered. The tempo of the piano picked up again and the hustling of dancing feet vibrated from above.

 

Amongst the celebrations upstairs, Tony snuggled closer to his alpha, smiling at the clock on the wall that chimed midnight. “Happy New Year’s honey.”

 

Bucky kissed his temple. “Happy New Year’s darling.”

 

True to his word, when they’d gotten dressed and changed the sheets, Bucky did leave a note.

 

It read:

 

_Good morning/day owners of the dance hall,_

_I hope you don’t mind, but I used your bed to make love to a fella I love dearly. It’d been something two years in the making, so I hope you’ll forgive us for getting too into the holiday season. The sheets are changed, and the spare key is in the front foyer (how I got the key is another story, but I’m returning it now). Judging from the way you two play those instruments on stage, ya seem like a youthful and fun couple. My fella here is like that, and I’d like to keep him that happy for a long time. And if that means spontaneously breaking into another person’s house, so be it._

_Sorry about that once again,_

_A soldier and his fella._

Despite his best efforts, Tony wasn’t allowed to see the card. Bucky had turned him away before he got the chance, rushing the omega about having to go wish Peggy and Stevie a happy New Year.

 

Bucky locked the door and slid the key underneath. He caught hold of Tony’s belt loops and tugged him in for a kiss. Just as they were about to leave a woman who Bucky recognized instantly walked in the hallway, halting when she caught the couple standing there.

 

“Party’s upstairs kids.” She stated, giving them a once-over. Tony’s eyes widened, catching a glance at Bucky who’d managed to compose himself.

 

“Sorry about that ma’am, we’ll be outta your hair.” She studied them carefully, as if she was scrutinizing them like a mother would to her children. Her lips pursed in a smile.

 

“Hope you boys enjoyed your night.” She stated turning towards her door. “Have a Happy New Year’s gentlemen.”

 

And it was a Happy New Year indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> where will I take them next? Hope you guys enjoyed the fic!
> 
> Peace, cheers, love !


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